I make no bones about it, i was a spoilt brat, spoilt as a child and spoilt as an adult and i would stamp my tiny feet if i didn't get my own way so i bid Arrivederci to Italy and went off to America aged 18 to find my fame and fortune in movies but my first job was bussing tables in a restaurant but being Italian, i was never a hard-working boy and got fired from the job for, well, not doing my job.
Then i moved onto a dance partner for hire and that's how i met the very much married Chilean heiress Bianca de Saulles and we began an affair which ended in divorce and then while arguing over the settlement, she shot and killed her ex-husband.
I did land a few minor film roles and a wife, actress Jean Acker who was actually a lesbian who married me to escape a love triangle with two other actresses. Did this end well? I’m sorry, did you just read that last sentence? Heck no!
On our wedding night, she locked me out of our room and refused to see me, we divorced shortly afterwards just as i landed the role of Sheik Ahmed Ben Hassan in The Sheik.
Being the era of silent movies, i was big on grimacing, staring ominously and making that face you make when you really have to pee but it was mostly my Latin looks which were obviously close enough to audiences to play an Arab and for a brief time i became the most famous leading man in Hollywood.
Of course, the women loved me and not just because they thought i was packing the kind of tackle that you'd normally expect to find swinging about between the hind-legs of a Grand National winner, but men not so much, and rumours went around that i was gay, one journalist said that i was a pink powderpuff.
Now logic says you can just ignore it, it shouldn't be a big deal, names can't hurt you but my Latin brain went KILL HIM!! so i challenged the writer to a duel, but he refused so i offered a boxing match instead and beat the living tar out of him.
On the set of Uncharted Seas, i met costume designer Natacha Rambova and we started a steamy affair and we got married and then immediately arrested for bigamy, turns out i was i was still officially married to Jean Acker.
I very quickly went from being on top of the world to being on top of a hospital bed with perforated ulcers and underwent a routine surgery, then developed infections and complications, dropped into a coma and my American adventure came to an end aged 31.
Despite the fact that i became a household name in America, i never became an American citizen and never officially immigrated to the country.
This hot-blooded Italian stayed Italian. Ciao Bambino.
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