I decided that i would lead by example and although i couldn't knock out a dove tail joint like Jesus, i could do the other things like walk around spouting wisdom and telling people about God and Heaven and those types of things.
The Romans had hoped they had put an end to the Christianity nonsense when they nailed up God's boy so me walking around Rome bigging up one guy who could do all the things the Roman's 200 Gods could do, it didn't go down well and one afternoon, when the local Arena was running low on Christians to feed to the lions, the crowd took up a chant of chucking me in there instead.
The Christians v Lions thing was never fair and i was gutted that i was being hunted, not as much as the Christians who had already been in with the lions obviously, so i ran off and hid at a nearby farm but they found me and dragged me back to the Arena.
The proconsul gave me a chance to renounce God because a frail, 80 year old man armed with a cross against a Lion would not be much of a crowd pleaser and i would be devoured quicker than a virgin at Lupercalia so he decided to set me on fire instead but the fire kept going out and as i stood there with nothing more than a slightly singed tunic, i prepared to say that God was protecting me and to revel in this Godly miracle and they would feel the wrath of my God unless they untied me but before i opened my mouth...they stabbed me to death instead and then burnt me which wasn't quite so miraculous.
Luckily, Christianity never really changed that much after me including the practise of there being a Saint for everything, and we mean everything.
I got handed earache and dysentery, to be fair i was hoping for something a bit cooler after the whole not burning thing but someone has to do it and considering what i did in my tunic when i heard they was going to feed me to the lions, it does make sense i guess.
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