My brother Leander was a Saint and it was him who took over my education but i was a lousy student and there is only so much Trivium and Quadrivium anyone can take before your head explodes so i ran away but got hungry and come home again so my brother locked me in a cell and kept shouting things about triangles at me until swore if i ever bumped into Pythagoras i would punch him straight on the nose but it was mostly theology i learnt.
They call it the Dark Ages for a reason. Anyone who dared to actually study the universe would be shut down by the Church, which thought all that nonsense was immoral and that the Bible was all the learning anybody could possibly need in that regard. They even thought the Earth was flat, for crying out loud.
After years of cramming all that knowledge into my head i decided that it would be a shame not to pass it on to other kids and became a teacher but not just arithmetic and science but also religion and i wrote a dictionary, history, geography, astronomy and biography books and an encyclopedia called the Etymologies.
I lived a long life and my encyclopedia was widely successful in educating people which is why i picked as the guy to become the Patron Saint of the Computers and Internet although we never had such things in WAIT, WHAT'S WRONG? WHY CAN'T THESE CAPITAL LETTERS TURN OFF? AHHHHHHHHH WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHY IS IT DOING THIS? HANG ON, SORRY I GOT TO GET HELP. OKAY GEORGES COMING AND HE'S A TOTAL GEEK.
Ah, that' better he fixed it. I think he's mad that he saw that I called him a geek to you, but whatever.
Kids today do wonder what we did before the internet and as i had 17 brothers and sisters i think that answers that but that's the story of how how i became the Patron Saint of Computers but if you have any questions for me about why the stupid thing won't do what you want it to, the Saintly advice is to just turn it off and back on again.
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