Special Guest Blogger: James Jameson

The problem with being an heir to a family fortune is the waiting for relatives to die so i had to find something to while away the days until the inevitable giant pile of family money dropped into my lap.
I was the great-great-grandson of John Jameson, the founder of the Jameson Irish Whiskey company and i got bored with all the drinking fancy wine, hunting and eating all the best food so i thought i would give exploring a try and tagged along on the expeditions of more accomplished explorers such as one led by Henry Morgan Stanley to central Africa to bring Belgian supplies to Emin Pasha, the leader of an Ottoman province in Sudan that was cut off by a revolt and as this was the time of various imperialist European countries fighting over which chunks of Africa they'd get to oppress, if we happened to spot some nice land ready to be annexed for the Belgian Free State colony in the Congo, that also.
It was on this expedition that i was accused of an unspeakable crime of purchasing a ten year old slave girl from a slave trader so i could see her get eaten by cannibals which i flat out refute.
Yes i did say it would be cool to see it but that was just locker room talk while i just happened to know a slave trader in Congo, his name was Tippu Tip but just because i handed him six handkerchiefs and he arrived with a ten year old slave girl in no way implicates me.
How was i supposed to know that the natives i handed her to were going to tie her to a tree then stab her in the belly and cut up the body and sit around eating the dismembered pieces of the child.
Such was my shock and indignation that i not only made some drawings but retired to my tent and turned them into splendid watercolours.
There was much noise and i made the English and Irish newspapers but another string to my bow of innocence was that nobody ever charged with anything, mostly due to my dying from some fever i picked up in the Congo not long afterwards but i was innocent of the whole thing and i have some brilliant watercolours of the events to show that i was in no way involved and it was not a case of a rich, thoughtless westerner using their wealth for evil, sure i felt sorry for the girl but remember i ended up six really nice handkerchiefs down on the deal so who was the real victim here?