Monday, 1 July 2013

How To Punish The Americans

The French, Italians, Greeks and the Germans are not happy that the Americans have been bugging their European embassies and are threatening to pull out of the EU-US trade deal, the biggest bilateral deal ever negotiated, as a way to punish Uncle Sam and its evil empire.
I say to hell with threatening, just ban everything American from crossing the Atlantic and have nothing whatsoever to do with the yanks at all.
With the exception of music possibly. Most of the stuff i listen to is American bands such as Nirvana, Guns n Roses, Green Day, Ramones so we will take their music but that's it, nothing else.
Of course we won't count films, almost all the best actors and actresses as well as all the best films come from over there so music and films but that's it, nothing else.
Okay, TV we will also allow over, would be silly to deprive ourselves of Buffy, Friends, Frasier, MASH, David Hasselhoff, Angel and Big Bang Theory just because their paranoid Government couldn't keep their big flappy ears to themsleves.
Allowances would also be made for soft drinks, American sportsmen, computer software, tobacco, Jack Daniels, Rich Hall and we can negotiate a replacement for Gwenyth Paltrow and you can come and take Ruby Wax or we will just dump her in the ocean somewhere and don't even think about trying to slip Sharon Osborne back onto us, keeping her there is part of your punishment.
I think that's it, so taking it all in account, everything American is banned until you guys stop eavesdropping on us all and until such point, nothing is coming in except the previously mentioned and we will just sell all our crap to the daft Australians instead.
Sorry, quality merchandise.


Anonymous said...

Good by me please take back BP... and English Muffins too. I don't really like English Muffins. And the Rolling Stones. They look like wax figures except Richards, he looks like a zombie...


PS - yawl can't come to disney world anymore :-P

Lucy said...

I'm not too keen on Muffins either, too thick. I prefer crumpets.

PS.. We may not have DisneyWorld but we have got grumpy Frenchmen dressed up in weird clothes talking in funny voices. We also have a Eurodisney.