Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Super Mega Jesus

God sed 2 Noah 'i wnt sum1 2 mak a ark. if u do dat pls lt me knw 2nite cuz i cnt w8 any mor.
Noah replied 'Wkd M8, i do dat cuz i cnt swm LOL'

How much easier it would have been if God had spent the time creating Mobile phones all those years ago instead of insects. A decent reception and high quality apps are much more useful to us than a Crane Fly but who am i to tell the big guy how he should have done things.   
The problem with God being too lazy to make sure there was a decent network coverage and squandering his time on mosquito's instead means that if you want to read the Bible, you have to wade through a thousand pages and it is almost impossible to find the good bits but publisher Kingstone publishing have cracked that by producing a 2000 page comic-book version of the entire Bible in the style of a Marvel comic.  
Where Jesus was once a weedy looking chap in sandals, he is now a testosterone-driven muscled Super Jesus curing lepers and the blind with a touch of his hand and a witty one liner.
'Boys are sometimes reluctant readers so these comics and graphic novels are pretty adept at catching their attention and drawing them into the story' explained the Chief executive Art Ayris. 
If i know young boys they will go straight to the pages covering Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot bonking his daughters, Judah having it away with his daughter-in-law and i'm not sure i want to see the pictures of Aholibah and her lovers 'whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses'.
They might need to tone it down a bit, that sort of material is normally found on the top shelves in the newsagents.
Next up, probably not though, a Marvel style comic of the Koran complete with Mega-Muhammad and the Hindu texts with Groovy Ganesha who has an elephants head which is way cooler than God and his boring man shaped bonce.


Cheezy said...

"A decent reception and high quality apps are much more useful to us than a Crane Fly"

This sentence is surely the final nail in the coffin of the theory of intelligent design.

It may not be the bible per se, but my personal favourite religious cartoons can be found here...


Anonymous said...


are you saying humans are unintelligently designed? if so, we agree 100%


Cheezy said...

That's blasphemy!