Being a lazy bugger, and razors not being invented yet, i had a long, luxurious beard, hence the name, and i kept it black by setting fire to it which never really caught on amongst later generations.
Setting your beard on fire as you board another ship was a masterstroke, they would say if that guy is crazy enough to set his facial hair alight then i'm not going to argue with him but the problem was ships move slowly so i would get a decent blaze going and then watch slowly as the ship's came together by which time i was horribly burned, scalded and screaming in pain which only added to the madness but hurt like a bandit.
Over the few short years that i was pirating i got together an impressive pile of loot but as my gambling and drinking debts grew i hit upon the bright idea of shooting members of my crew to increase my share of the treasure.
Things were going well until i found the flaw in my plan and began running out of crew and my enemies boarded my ship and cut off my head and stuck it on top of their mast. Arrgh, that stung a bit me hearty.
Probably the only pirate who could rival me for infamy was Long John Silver and he wasn't even real but he has propagated the image of pirates having a parrot and a wooden leg but a little known fact was us Pirates had a strict Pirate Code we lived by.
This included every man would have a vote in affairs of the moment, all must receive an equal share of any treasure, no cards or dice for money, all lights and candles to be put out at eight o'clock at night, no woman allowed on board, no striking one another on board and no music on the Sabbath Day.
So we were not so bad after all then and the face moisturiser in the afterlife is to die for, literally.
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