Special Guest Blogger: King George III

It may be a thing over there in America but the Revolutionary War is not so big in the UK but there has been so much propaganda about the whole thing.
Firstly i didn't give a flying fig about our colonies over there in America, they were all religious folk who i was quite happy to see the back of if i am being truthful with all their England is not Holy enough nonsense so i was all 'take it, run it into the ground, see if i care' but Parliament insisted that we send troops and i was all like 'yeah, whatever'. 
While all that was going on i was diagnosed as suffering from a mental illness called Old Loon, probably due to all the inbreeding amongst the Royalty (and there was a lot of inbreeding) so i was expected to make decisions of State but i didn't know if i would wake up thinking i was a Kangaroo or a Cockatiel.
One day i shook hands with a tree which i thought was the King of Prussia, but have you ever seen the King of Prussia, he looks like a tree and when it was gently explained to me that it wasn't him, i went around shaking hands with all the tree's and i was meeting him in a forest, we were there all day until i shook hands with a couple of pear tree's which turned out to be him and his wife.
When i was told by a giant Begonia in the garden that we had lost the American colonies i wasn't very upset, mostly because i had lost my keys that day and found them within the hour so a country shouldn't be that hard to find and I helpfully asked if they had looked down the back of the sofa.
My legacy is the King who lost America and admittedly i haven't been paying much attention since i died but from what i can gather all they have done with it is carve some big heads into the side of a mountain, invent Country and Western music and give everyone a gun in case us British ever invaded again.
If a country decided that 5 vowels is one vowel too many and drop the letter 'u' then i can't see them being much of a threat to the British Empire but as it was built by peace loving religious folk i'm sure it turned out okay but i am a bit concerned that the Old Loon tablets may need to be increased, i'm sure i just saw an orange beach ball balancing a bird nest on his top being declared American President.
Have to go, the King of Prussia needs pruning.