I was all about the non violent protest so we, the oppressed, would say to the British 'Hey, stop oppressing us' and they would hit us over the head and we would fall down and then we would go back next day and say again 'Hey British, stop oppressing us' and they would hit us again and this went on for about 16 years. To be honest, i really didn't have much of a plan to free India from under British rule and with hindsight maybe kicking a few of them in the balls would have caused them to focus a bit quicker but i was mostly barefoot and was stick thin and always on hunger strike so could barely lift my head let alone swing a leg but we live and learn.
The British were complete jerks, i lived in Britain for four years but the biggest jerk had to be Winston Churchill who called all Indians 'a beastly people with a beastly religion' and he considered me the beastliest of them all, even blaming me for any violence despite my whole schtick being non-violence.
I was often asked what i thought of Western Civilisation and i would reply that i thought it would be a great idea, laugh a minute me but i had to be considering i spent so long either knocked out or being knocked out, it must have shaken a few grey cells loose.
One of my greatest accomplishments was the declaration that milk stimulated sexual passion and to prove it i abstained from milk and proved it by sleeping naked with hundreds of women as an experiment and as i was married, i did wonder just how many times the British had hit my wife over the head for me to get away with that one.
My milk 'experiments' were suddenly ended a year after Indian independence by an assassins gun and although the nation was split into two and religious intolerance has reigned ever since between the two, i proved that non-violent protest works and that even the most nerdiest looking six stone weakling can get to lay with a different naked woman every night as long as he calls it an 'experiment'.
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