I got a C for music at school and in a singing contest at a country fair i came 5th so it could be taken as a lesson in not giving up your dream or as i prefer, thinking 'what do you know' to music teachers and country fair song judges because i went on to become so famous that i was called the King so f**k you, thank you very much.
As well as the films, i released 117 singles, 50 albums and have thousands of impersonators around the World but the greatest hit i am most remembered for is the one where i hit the floor in my bathroom.
There are more dignified ways to die than being found face down in the bathroom with your underpants around your ankles i admit and if i was given a choice it would be in bed surrounded by several buckets of fried chicken and a plate of banana, peanut butter and bacon sandwiches but as Old Shep found out, 'one day the doctor looked at me and said, I can do no more for him, Jim'.
Suspicious Minds was another one of mine and there have been a few of those regarding if it was actually me who was sprawled all over the toilet floor that day and the simple answer is of course it was, if i was going to plan my own death it would be dying saving orphans from a burning building or drowning whilst rescuing puppies, not dying form the exertion of trying to push one out.
Finally, on the subject of all those Elvis impersonators, why are the majority in my white rhinestone jumpsuit period when i was bloated and wheezy?
Anyway, don't be lonesome tonight, I have now left the building
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