Special Guest Blogger: Buddha

When i was asked to write a guest posting on Lucy's blog i considered taking the opportunity to pass on my wisdom on the core of Buddhism and the belief in the Four Noble Truths of Suffering, the Cause of Suffering, the End of Suffering and the Path that Leads to the End of Suffering but after giving it some serious contemplation under another Bodhi tree, i thought stuff it and decided to write about the two things that really grind my gears.
First up is my image of me being a fat, bald guy whereas in reality i was seriously buff. Honestly, i could be found wandering around 6BC India all bulging biceps and a pair of firm, toned buttocks that would crack walnuts.
Not sure how i ended up being pictured as a baby faced chubster unless they got me confused with someone else, Muhammad possibly, he was always first in line for a feast and getting the waistband of his jubbah's let out.  
The second thing is that i quite clearly said that i could live for an eon or until the end of the eon, if i was asked to do so and i said it many times but not one person asked me, for cripes sake guys, i wasn't being mysterious or being rhetorical, it was as plain as the trunk on Garnesh's face that i was crying out for somebody to just ask me.
Instead of dying in a billion years, i popped my clogs at 80 years old and my last words were reminding the people gathered around me that they only needed to ask but a waste of a last breath that was, so i missed out on everything after 6BC so cheers, seriously, appreciate it that nobody could be bothered to ask me, yeah, big thanks for that. 
So i am adding to my four truths and the fifth is i was a ripped hunk of a man and the sixth if somebody tells you that they can live for eons if you ask them to, for crying out loud just ask them!