Special Guest Blogger: Kurt Cobain

 A mullato, an albino, a mosquito, my labido, what was i smoking when i wrote that particular chorus people often asked me? Pretty much everything i would reply which is why i had to check Wikipedia to see exactly what i did in my lifetime as the details are a bit hazy.
I was out of my face on drugs most of the time but they gave me the oomph i needed. Would i have written Smells like Teen Spirit without bucketloads of Heroin. Probably not and i wouldn't have decorated that upstairs room a dark shade of brain grey without it either but hey, swings and roundabouts.
People were always trying to get me to go to rehab centres but the problem wasn't getting me there, the issue was that the walls were not high enough for me not to skip over and then go stab myself with a massive syringe full of heroin.
What many people didn't understand was that the 'Unplugged' show we did was a cry for help, anyone could see that as i sat there singing the sings that i did that it was the actions of a man who was smashed out of his gourd when he came up with that set.
I did have a persona of being a bit of a grumpy one and it is true that i hated everything, i even sang a song called 'I Hate Myself and Want to Die' which with hindsight may have been another call for help but was just passed off as Kurt being Kurt, the miserable sod.
As with so many celebrities, dying early turned out to be a boon for my career and 25 years on i see teenagers wearing Nirvana t-shirts and calling my lyrics all about teen revolution and the meaning and meaninglessness, playing upon the juxtaposition of my contradictory lyrics and the conflict of two opposing ideas which sounds great but really, Teen Spirit was about nothing deeper than deodorant and the message a friend left me telling me i needed to buy deodorant because i stank. The greatest stroke of luck was that my friend never wrote Kurt needs Lynx as that's a tough one to make rhyme.