I am most famous for coming up with the theory of relativity and that famous equation of E=MC2 although nobody seems to know what any of the letters stand for or what it means but it makes me sound even brighter if nobody understands it which would explain why nobody got my nerdy joke about how we all matter until we multiply ourselves times the speed of light squared then your just energy. Seriously, if you understood it you would be ringing the hospital and asking for your sides to be stitched back together.
I was a pacifist but not against the German Nazi's so once i realised that energy of an atom could be released as explosive energy, i contacted President Roosevelt to warn of the NAZI threat if they got the bomb first and he initiated the Manhattan Project which led to the Atom Bomb and in a spectacular twist, the Americans decided to drop it on a different country altogether and as one extra neutron destabilised the nucleus in one atom which split the atom apart and in turn dislodged thousands of other Nuclei, E=MC2 and the instant death of hundreds of thousands of people in Japan.
The horror of what i had done led me to becoming a pacifist again and i tried to make amends by going on peace tours until i died and that turned out to be a bit of a cock up because i made sure my last words were something poignant, moving and compassionate but i made the mistake of saying it in German and the nurse present didn't speak German so i was a genius in many ways but in other
ways i was a real dumbass.
So my actual last words anyone understood were 'Hey Nurse, better grab the bucket, that suppository worked a treat' which are certainly moving, but not much poignancy there.
Within hours of my death they had removed my brain and pickled it in a jar for posterity which had i known, telling them not to remove my brain would have been my last words.
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