When it comes to the Russian Revolution, everybody knows Stalin and Lenin but mention the name Leon Trotsky and i was very much the forgotten member, the Michael Collins of the Revolution. I was always protesting against something, my first was when i organised a strike in nursery school when they ran out of cuppy cakes but i got put on the naughty step and cried and wet myself until my mum picked me up but that set me on my path.
When i was exiled to Siberia i tried to unionise a group of penguins but i missed people and it was so fricking cold and the Siberians were not happy that i had been sent there, 'Our home is so shitty they sent you here as punishment?' they would moan.
Lenin was a nice guy but Stalin and i never got along with, he would mock my little chin beard i would make fun of his stupid moustache although if i had known how touchy he was about it that he would later assassinate me, i probably wouldn't have called it his Snot Mop quite so much.
Stalin and Lenin are the usual historical Communist bogey men but for some reason, i seem to have escaped unscathed which irks me.
Apart from a mention by The Stranglers in their song 'No More Heroes', i hardly ever get an airing , it's always those other two hogging the hate which is even more stranger when you consider i was the one who advocated permanent revolution which would have spread Communism worldwide. The other two lightweights were content to hold what they had.
If it wasn't for the occasional joke about ice picks, i would just never be mentioned and i was as much part of the Russian Revolution as Joseph and Vladimir.
I did get one of the main roles in George Orwell's Animal Farm as Snowball and yet i am spared the wrath of nutty right wingers who warn that people protesting against banks will lead to a re-run of the Great Purges from New York to that place down the bottom full of oranges, old people and voting machines that don't work properly.
I say i should be treated with as much laughingly bad hyperbole as Stalin and Lenin by right wingers and Fox News who want to scare their viewers that not making you pay for your health care is a slippery slope to the workers controlling the means of production.
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