A man come up to me and he say 'Hey Leonardo, i givva you a lots of gold for a robot lion and i say sure, and i take his money and i think about it, and think some more, and then some more and then i think of painting a picture of a flower and go off and do that instead and the man he say 'Hey Leonardo, where my lion' and i say 'will be ready by Friday', and under my breath Friday 1520.
I did gets a lot of commissions from the Church for alter pieces which i never did but i was no worried about them, not like a bunch of Friars is gonna turn up saying 'nice studio you got here Leonardo, be a shame if something happened to it if you know what we mean'.
Amongst my friends were Cesare Borgia and Niccolò Machiavelli, a couple of real spicy meatballs, so nobody mess with Leonardo, especially the Church when they came to ask where their alter pieces were and i say i haven't done them but i did invent a brilliant solar powered water jug.
I did toy around with flying machines but one of my best works was the mural of The Last Supper which i based on my family so Jesus is my Uncle Guiseppe, he standing up saying who had the fig rolls and John the Baptist is my father and he saying 'i'm not paying that much, i only had a glass of wine and a few sausage rolls'.
One of my rivals was Michaelangelo and i would go to the Sistine Chapel and shout up to him 'Hey Mickey, you missed a bit' or i would tease him from the bottom of his scaffold and say 'Hey, that David statue got a very little winkie, he based on you MickeyAngelo' and he would chase me out the room.
So my legacy would be of a genius that when it come to starting things and not finishing them i was...Arrivederci!
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