Wednesday 7 August 2019

Special Guest Blogger: Jesus

I don't think it is beyond doubt that if i was alive today, i would be a lefty and probably knocking out some cabinets on the side so it has always been with amusement that it is the right wingers who have picked up the religion mantle.
The right are the hunters and capitalists and the ones most likely to be found in dad's house singing hymns about all things being bright and beautiful at the weekend.
Obviously, the whole idea of being a good church goer is to ensure that when you die, you can get through the pearly gates but considering what the Bible says about these matters, i think they may be disappointed, the Bible even has a nifty analogy regarding camels and needles to drive home the point about money.
Without doubt i was a lefty but in a bitter irony, the people i most identify with are the ones who avoid church while the ones who are most opposite the things i stood for are the ones trying to suck up to my dad and i.
There have been many wars and religious movements in my name but i am just like any other guy, i put my sandals on one foot at a time and it's a bit rich to blame me or my dad for what happens in our name, if you get sick from spoilt milk, don't blame the cow!
I never really had a lot of face time with my real dad, and my step dad wasn't really big on the father-son chats so i never really got the chat about girls and things. 
Joseph could tell you all you wanted to know about a dove-tail joint but when it came to how to talk to girls he would suddenly have to go to town to buy a hammer and my real dad would just tell me go stand on a hill and tell people not to covert their neighbours ass and to not forget to mention the meek.  
I did once ask him if he thought that my birth in Bethlehem all those years ago changed the world for the better and made it more peaceful but he just gazed off into the middle distance, stroked his beard and told me the spice rack i made was wonky.
So thank to all people who live by my example today, thank you for your continued support, i know you have plenty of other religions to choose from so it is appreciated.

2 comments:

Liber - Latin for "The Free One" said...

all these "guest" posts are boring... clever maybe but boring...

lucy's stuff is based in moronic leftist ideals but at least they aren't boring...

Liber - Latin for "The Free One" said...

except that most leftists don't believe in God, and i bet Jesus would...