Saturday, 10 May 2014
Eurovision Song Contest 2014
Tonight an estimated 125 million television sets across Europe will be watching the Eurovision Song Contest but thankfully the people who make the decisions on these things have decided that putting forward old duffers like Englbert Humperdink and Bonnie Tyler to represent us didn't work so let's ask a pretty young thing to have a go instead so it's Molly singing Children of the Universe amidst much waving of the Union Flag this year.
I don't think it is unfair to say that Molly won't win, but nor will she Humperdinck and scrape along the bottom of the leaderboard all night either.
The bookies agree that the UK entry is not as god awful as the last few years as Molly is the 4th favourite with them expecting Austria, Sweden and then the Netherlands to finish above us but we would take that.
Ireland have the most wins with 7 since the contest started but they were dumped out at the semi-final stage this year as was that other famous European country, Israel. The UK, Luxembourg and France are joint second all time winners with 5 wins each but Luxembourg are not in it this year and the French haven't produced a decent tune since Edith Piaf was in her pomp, the moustache song more proof than is needed.
As the winning country has the honour of hosting the event next year it should be interesting if Ukraine are topping the table towards the end of the voting but i am expecting it to roll into Vienna courtesy of a very pretty man in a dress and a full beard.
Update: It's Vienna next year and i expect the UK will now be entering a woman who looks like a man. Or we will if America will lend us Pink.