Special Guest Blogger: King Louis XVI

As France has a lot of Kings called Louis, i was given the number Louis XVI which leads to blank looks as people try to work out which number Louis that makes me, relax your brain as it's 16.
As you probably learned in your high school history class, the French Revolution was a huge turning point in history. Those poor peasants just couldn't take life under such a horrible, despotic monarch as me so they stormed the Bastille which led almost directly to me and my Queen, Marie Antoinette, losing our heads.
Obviously Marie didn't help matters with her cake eating speech but consider this you Americans reading this, do you like being an American?
If so then you have me to thank as i actively supported the colonies against the British during the American Revolution and without my support, the revolution wouldn't have succeeded and you all would be sipping tea, using the letter U in words and speaking English right now.
Not that i gave a flying baguette about America, i just wanted to screw with the British who were getting ideas above their station and if any country deserved to be discovering and conquering New Worlds, it was France, we had better clothes, food and taste than the British but from what i have heard of what America became with your cheeseburgers, baseball caps and Fox News Journalists, that was a complete waste of time. I should have let the British have America and spent my money on another lavishly outrageous outfit.
To commemorate the alliance of our two nations against the British, we could have sent you wine or a lifetime supply of baguettes but we decided to send you a 93m, 225 tonne statue of a French woman with 35ft waist and a 4ft nose holding a torch enlightening the World and freedom from slavery, oppression, and tyranny and a quick knock off of a couple of statues of the national symbol of France, a chick called Liberty, that we already had standing around in Paris.
What we didn't provide was a pedestal so our present ended up costing America $100,000 so they could stand it in New York Harbour so the first thing arrivals to America see is the massive symbol of France, the real land of the free and the home of the brave, sacre bleu!