Insane in The Methane

Scientists estimate that it's believed that people emit wind in both of its forms around 10 to 15 times a day and as many people are spending as much as 23 hours locked in a confined environment with others, it is scientifically prudent to understand the trouser trumpet and which foodstuff produces the loudest and which smells the worst.
If anybody will know it is medical scientists at the Technological University Dublin and they have narrowed it down to four basics to produce the best (or worst) butt bongos.
Beans are renown for their gas inducing properties and the resulting heinie hiccup is distinctive in both noise and volume and fizzy drinks are particularly good for range and propulsion after all there's no point in creating an air biscuit if no one's going to smell it.
Sprouts are full of fiber and hard to digest so they ferment longer in the stomach and have a strong smell and eggs don't provide much in the way of a trouser trumpet but are certainly silent but deadly and what they lack in anal audio, they make up for in longevity.
As any Yoga teacher will attest to, movement and relaxing will get the gases moving and the mix of nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane and hydrogen sulfide are highly inflammable as every schoolboy with a lighter and will agree.
So if you find yourself in a house full of people during lock-down with a cupboard full of beans, eggs, sprouts and fizzy drinks, which should be left to last? 
The bean booty bomb is not particularly loud but the smell is quite potent while the fecal fumes from eggs are rancid although the untraceable silent but violent nature makes it an excellent choice for one to blame on the dog.
The sprouts sphincter siren rivals eggs for smell and the resulting rump ripper will easily drown out the television while fizzy drinks will cause more botty coughs but they will be smaller, smell less and fade quicker.
The expert opinion then is in terms of quality of sound, the Back-end blowout from sprouts take the award but eggs are safer for slipping out those anonymous bung blasts. 
As for smell, the backside bazooka resulting from either eggs or sprouts will see windows being flung open but for a really impressive combination trouser cough, sprouts is the food to be left to the very end followed by an evening alone in the garden or the food of choice if you plan to sit on your annoying little brothers head at some point.