Special Guest Blogger: Mohamed Atta

I wasn't always a terrorist, i had a masters degree in Urban Planning and planned to go into that field before i answered the call of Al Queada and flew American Airlines flight 11 into the north tower of New York City’s World Trade Center.
I arrived in America in 2000 and began flight training and met up with my fellow terrorists in 2001 to finalise the hijacking plansbut i did have second thoughts.
I thought out aloud at one meeting that what Al Queada actually needed was an image update and i found that people expressed a strong dislike of being randomly blown up which could explain why we were not getting anywhere.
They seemed amazed that keeping whole populations in permanent terror makes them agree with your cause less rather than more and as our cause was to stop the Western oppression and killing of Muslim people in the Middle East, by being part of Al Queada which was actively killing Muslims in the Middle East, we were as bad as the Americans.
We pondered it over a coffee and the fact that with America's batshit crazy gun laws, with a population of 320 million and the average annual death toll of 40,000, no Americans would be left as they would all of shot each other dead by the year 10,176 but patience was never a virtue of ours so we decided what the Jahannam, we wasn't going to waste all those flying lessons so on September 11, 2001, three hijackers and i boarded flight 11, hijacked it and sent it spinning into the World Trade Center.
Things went well, despite the vast majority of us 19 in total being Saudi Arabian, America invaded Iraq and Afghanistan and both of those wars are still bubbling along nicely and Al Queada went from strength to strength but i do also have regrets.
Firstly it made The Very Hungry Caterpillar famous and i hated that book, secondly they always use that iffy passport photograph of me which makes look like a proper sourpuss and thirdly, i never did get my promised 72 virgins.