Saturday, 16 July 2016

Another Scary Clown

Rather excitingly they are remaking the 'IT' film, a Stephen King tale that did much to make clowns scary but Britain also has it's own version of a terrifying clown and he has been made Foreign Secretary.  
To a chorus 'WHAT ARE YOU THINKING' Theresa May could scarcely have made a worse choice of foreign secretary than Boris Johnson short of appointing Jeremy Clarkson or the Duke of Edinburgh.
While the new Prime Minister has actually taken away most of the power from the position, we will still have the mop haired nutter representing us to foreign nationals and already the International reaction has been a mix of wonder and amusement.
The Americans State Department spokesman struggled to keep a straight face and said the US was looking forward to working with Johnson who he likened Hillary Clinton to 'a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital' and Obama disliked the British due to being 'part-Kenyan'.  
The Germans said it was like 'trusting the cat to keep the cream' and the French Foreign Secretary dismissed Johnson as 'a liar' with a nod to his whoppers during the Brexit campaign.
The Chinese were scratching their heads and exclaimed surprise at the new PM's choice and Palestinians showed their horror at such a pro-Isreali diplomat in charge of foreign policy who said the boycott of Israel was being conducted by 'corduroy-jacketed lefty academics'.
Iran raised it's eyebrows and said the appointment 'would not benefit Tehran' and repeated his words that his preference to Iran developing Nuclear capability would be for the Israelis to bomb it. 
The Spanish state broadcaster, TVE, said they 'can’t get their heads around the fact that Boris Johnson is foreign secretary' while in Turkey, reaction was that it: 'raises questions about the future of Britain’s international relations', they were obviously not happy about his poetic effort which he called President Erdo─čan 'a wankerer'.
In Africa, the South Africans of all people called him a racist and the African Union, obviously recalling the comment about Africans being 'flag-waving piccaninnies' with 'watermelon smiles', said Johnson: 'may be uniquely unfit for diplomatic dealings in Africa'.
In the end of IT, the clown turns into a giant spider but it seems our own clown has already turned into another animal, an almighty ass.

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