Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Cameron's Legacy

So off David Cameron trots to see the Queen and tell her that he is jacking it all in and passing him in the Buckingham Palace hallway is Theresa May who is skipping and jumping to tell the same monarch that if Dave don't want it, she'll have it.
The removal van is packed, the best china wrapped in brown paper and David Cameron drives off into the sunset with the newly earned tag of former-Prime Minister and the warm words of his Conservative Party colleagues ringing in his ears and his final words ringing in ours.
'As I leave today' reflected Dave, 'I hope that people will see a stronger country' which was received with wild applause from the Tory benches and shouts of 'Let me at him' from the rest of the country, those not queuing at Food Banks anyway, they didn't want to lose their place in the ever growing line.  
So Cameron's legacy will probably be the six years of austerity he foisted upon us or how he took the UK out of Europe and into economic decline but there are two stories which for me shine far brighter than anything else. 
The first is how he took his daughter to the pub, then forgot her when he went home and secondly, his sexual harassment of a pig.
Ladies and Gentleman, let's hear it for Mr David Cameron, he f***d the economy, f****d the environment, f****d the United Kingdom, f****d Libya, f****d over the disabled, f*****d the poor and f****d a pig.
Dave Cameron, everyone can truthfully say he was a real f**ker.

2 comments:

Keep Life Simple said...

When I use bad words you say I'm ranting...

Falling on a bruise said...

This is strategically placed asterisked bad words to make the last line punchline work.
When you swear it's because you are in a rant.