Donald Trump has said that if he loses the American election to Joe Biden, he may leave the country but as he has pretty much insulted everywhere, his pick of nations would be very limited.
His half Scottish so he could pitch up there but Britain gave him one of the worst receptions on his tour here last year so he shouldn't expect any peace and we still have that huge baby balloon in storage to fly above his house so he could see every time he stepped outside.
Iran and China would be only to pleased to take him in after he fostered such warm relations with them and i'm sure Kim Jong Un would have a special place set aside for the dotard, somewhere safe where nobody would bother him, or find his body anyway.
The obvious choice would be Putin's Russia, he already has first hand knowledge of the hotels in Russia and he knows that they change the sheets often when he visits, urine stains are so hard to shift unless you put them on a hot wash immediately but i have the perfect place he can go and save himself a few quid at the same time, Chernobyl.
Think about it, it's deserted so nobody would bother him especially the IRS and it would save him a fortune on fake tan as he could develop a natural orange hue.
Get packing chubby.
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