Special Guest Blogger: Pochahontis

I was told that they made a film about me which is exciting, i hope they used either my real name Amonute, or my native American name Matoaka, or even my English name Rebecca Rolfe and and not my nickname Pochahontis, i would hate to be known centuries later only by that nickname.
My story is quite interesting albeit short, i was the daughter of the tribal chief in Virginia when 100 British settlers landed in Jamestown and rather than bringing supplies like any sensible people, they relied on the prayers to their man in the clouds to keep them fed and healthy but there God told them to sod off so they ended up begging us Native American's for help and we shared our supplies with them , giving them much-needed food in the harsh months of the winter.
One settler in particular, John Smith, got very friendly with us, we even did the time honoured 'put your head on the rock and we won't beat your brains out' tribal ceremony to show just how much we were friends.
There were rumours that me and him got it on but i was 10 years old and he was like really really old, like 30 or something and i was betrothed to Kocoum from a nearby tribe anyway.
They traded with us but as more settlers arrived and moved onto our territory, dad thought we were getting pushed off our land so we stopped all trade with the Brits which ticked them off so they went to war with us and as the Chiefs daughter, i was taken hostage and the British demanded a ransom which my father refused to pay on principle.
After a year of me sat there like a hungry bump on a log and not being ransomed back, the British realised that they were stuck with me so they forced me convert to Christianity and to pray to their man in the clouds, the same one who had been no help whatsoever when they landed, given a less heathen name, Lady Rebecca, as a sign of my commitment to their faith and married to one of them, tobacco grower John Rolfe.
In the summer of 1616, my husband decided to take me on a trip to England where they called me a Princess as it was just easier to call me that than to explain Native American tribal hierarchies and we lived in Brentford which is very much like Virginia with more scones and cream tea's but after a year and just as we started sailing back to America, the awful British cooking caught up with me and i became so sick they had to turn the boat around and i died soon after at the age of 21.