Special Guest Blogger: Coco Chanel

The world is full of terrible things, fortunately, money and fame have always acted as a force field against these afflictions and i had both thanks to clothes you probably can't afford as well as a perfume so strong that it would curl your nose hairs.
My fashion career began with my short lived singing career when i briefly made money by singing at a café-concert with a plate being passed around at the end of the night to collect tips from the audience to show their appreciation and my two favourite songs were 'Ko Ko Ri Ko' and 'Qui qu’a vu Coco' and i was known as the Coco singer and that's how i got my name.
A regular attendant was a wealthy heir to a textile fortune named Etienne Balsan and as this was France, i became his mistress and introduced to millionaire Arthur 'Boy' Capel who, again this being France, i also became his mistress and he financed my first shops, got me into Vogue magazine and everything took off until the great depression and i had to fire my workers, shut down my shops and sell a majority stake in my company to the Jewish Wertheimer brothers.
WW2 soon broke out and France was occupied and it turned out the Nazis and i had more than a keen fashion sense in common, namely our shared disdain for Jews and i saw a golden opportunity to leverage Nazi laws banning Jews from owning businesses to wrestle my company back from the Wertheimer's but they got wind of it and they legally turned over control of the company to a Christian friend who returned control to the Wertheimers after the war.
That didn't dampen my enthusiasm for the Third Reich though and i invited German intelligence officer Hans Gunther von Dincklage to blitzkrieg my western front and helped recruit new agents to the Nazi cause but my spying career came to an end in 1943, when i attempted on behalf of  Heinrich Himmler to broker a peace deal with Winston Churchill who said no, but i can help you and The Dinke get off scott free and go live in Switzerland, which we did.
It's amazing how quick people forget you were part of the vilest regime on the planet as long as you give them designer clothes and perfume which really took off big time when Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly and Jackie Kennedy began wearing them and the perfume got a huge boost when Marilyn Monroe said that all she wore in bed was 'Just a few drops of Chanel No. 5'.
I want to thank everyone for their support and i may have been born poor but my love of fashion was enough payment, that and having affairs with very rich men and charging extortionate amounts for dresses that cost a fraction to make.