Special Guest Blogger: Babe Ruth

Baseball was never a difficult game, anyone can hit a home run and the British have the same game only they call it rounders and it's played by girl scouts. In baseball you stand around a field waiting for some action earning a fortune but i was known as a baseball legend, both on and off the field and it was fun as long as your idea of fun is having 50,000 low IQ morons in Washington, or Pittsburgh or Detroit or wherever, screaming and howling they want you dead just because you're playing for the Yankees.
I may be best known as a batter but i began as a pitcher, my break came when i was 14 and standing at the side of the Orioles field at St. Mary’s and making snidey jokes at the other kids’ pitching and the coach shouted over come and have a go if i thought i could better and yeah, turns out i definitely could and they signed me and as i was a kid, they nicknamed me 'babe' and the name stuck.
I made it to the major leagues, joining the Boston Red Sox as a pitcher but i fancied myself as a batter but the Sox guys were dicks, they tried to put me in my place by sawing all of my bats in half so when i joined the Sox, i was happy to see the back of them and i also left them with a curse, the infamous 'Curse of the Bambino'. Before trading me, Boston won five of 16 World Series and after, they wouldn’t win another for nearly a century.
Before me, the Yankees had won exactly zero American League championships. Once they had me? Seven pennants, baby—not to mention four World Series, not blowing my own trumpet but, y'know, just saying.
I'm best known for my tenure with the New York Yankees and those iconic Yank pinstripes which made me look slimmer because at the height of my stardom, i was known for outrageous carousing and partying but i still managed to rack up a staggering number of records many for batting but also for pitching but it all caught up with me and the Yankees traded me to the Boston Braves but i could barely between run the bases, it got so bad that my fellow pitchers refused to play if i was on the field.
I did have the advantage of not having to play against black people, the league i played in at the time excluded an entire segment of the population from competing but after baseball i embarked on a tour on the Vaudeville circuit and you would think people would said Wow, who could have known that the Great Bambino was as talented a showman as he was an athlete but no they didn't because i wasn't, my shows were basically me talking about baseball for an hour and then signing some autographs.
I died of cancer aged 53 but i didn't do too bad for a guy who was good at hitting a ball with a stick.