Special Guest Blogger: Voltaire

Nothing makes us feel smart like repeating something an actual smart person once said, why would you bother coming up with your own witty retort, when you have an off-the peg one which you read once, something someone said way back in the day.
I, Voltaire, was one of the 18th century's most celebrated intellectuals, providing irreverent and comedic commentary on the philosophy and politics of the day but most people will be familiar with the quote: 'I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.'
Is a neat thing to say and would be neater if i had actually said it but it was by someone many, many years later who said it was something which sounded like a thing i would say, but i never, but despite that it's an accurate description of my whole philosophy anyway, i was big on the freedom of speech but mainly because it meant i could say what i wanted about people and then justify it under the absolute freedom from censorship which was essential for the intellectual growth of society by being a dick about it but i was full of hypocrisies.
Rousseau and i had our differences and i made an exception for the freedom of speech for Rousseau's books and decided censorship might be justifiable after all by lobbying the government to have his book burned and Rousseau punished to the full extent of the law for having written it.
Fueled by the 60 cups of coffee i drank each day, i also called out the religious fruitcakes for their beliefs, saying that 'If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him' but it was that along with promoting such ideas as reason, liberty, progress, tolerance, protest and separation of church and state that saw me face an ultimatum of either being sent to prison or be exiled to England presumably because the officials figured that sending a Frenchman to live in England would be a far worse punishment than any prison sentence they could offer.
I packed up my boxes of coffee, my fortune i won from the Paris lottery (idiots made the cost of all the tickets less than the winnings so i bought every ticket possible) and landed in London which i said was far better than France and my French countrymen burnt my books in disgust.
I passed away at the ripe old age of 83 while visiting France and i was on my death bed when i managed to come up with one more witty quip.
The Catholic priests were hoping to hear me give my confession and be reconciled with the Church before my death but when they asked me to asked to renounce the Devil, i said 'Now is not the time to make enemies' and then promptly died.