Special Guest Blogger: Dante Alighieri

Jean-Paul Sartre said Hell was being locked forever in a room with your friends but then all his mates were French so it was probably true for him but i had my own version of hell it included Satan, or Pope Boniface VIII as he was also known.
The Middle Ages weren’t exactly a time when arts and culture flourished, tales of the black death, witch burning's, and the joys of cooking with turnips were not exactly best sellers but i was inspired to write The Divine Comedy, the literary masterpiece of the medieval period and it is all thanks to Pope Bonerface.
I was a diplomat during an age of social instability and great political turbulence in Florence. The city was literally divided into two camps. On the one hand were the Guelphs, who loved the Pope, and on the other the Ghibellines, who were Team Rome.
In an attempt to solve the issues between them i was sent to meet old Boneyface but in a real dick move, the Pope invited me to stay a while as his personal guest while he secretly sent an armed militia to overthrow and execute the government and install a more Pope-friendly regime who in turn, banned me from going back home to Florence.
Then he ordered all my belongings in Florence destroyed, gave me a massive fine for being in Rome and then when i said i couldn't pay it on account of all my stuff either being ashes or siting on the bottom of several Florence rivers, he exiled me and ordered me dead if i ever returned.
Hell hath no fury like a wordsmith scorned so rather than sulk away quietly, i reached for the sweetest plum in the up-yours basket and wrote 14,233 awesome rhyming lines of blistering papal burn in what became one of the most widely read and influential works of literature in the Western world, the Divine Comedy.
It follows the characters of Dante and Virgil as they travel to the center of Hell, passing through the nine circles of Hell where in the eight circle sits a demon who bears a tremendous likeness to Pope Boney, i even had St. Peter himself denouncing the loser.
Since i became a superstar author, Florence decided they weren't too good for me after all, and forgave me for my crimes in 2019, 700 years after i was buried in Ravenna after dying from Malaria and they probably expect me to say that i am thankful my name has been cleared but i think saying ficcalo su per il culo, your 7 centuries too late seems much more appropriate.