Monday, 4 April 2016

Jokes For Intellectuals

If you get the following jokes, then hats off to you, you are officially a smarty pants, if you don't
not to worry, what you call an Irishman who sits outside all day? Paddy O'Furniture.

1. What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
2. Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
3. I tried walking up a hill without a watch but had neither the time nor the inclination.
4. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
5. A lady walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre so the barman gave her one.
6. If you are cold stand in a corner as they are usually around 90 degrees.
7. A German asks for a martini. "Dry?" says the bartender. "Nein, just one."
8. Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings. Pavlov gasps, "Oh no, I forgot to feed the dogs".
9. How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
10. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.