You may have noticed that the American President has been visiting Britain the last few days and after a bit of Birthday cake with the Queen and making a speech about the EU, he is off again to some other parts of Europe before heading back to America but hang on Obama, what's the rush because there are so many things you can do here which you won't be able to do back home?
You could have a swift half in a pub full of 18 year olds that was built when the Pilgrim Fathers were still arguing about the sleeping arrangements on the Mayflower and if you get so drunk on alcopops and fall over, you could get fixed up for free on the NHS, try doing that at home!
You and Michelle could eat a Kinder Egg which haven't been available in the USA since 1938 or how about a look at some castles and Roman ruins or watch a rugby match or a game of cricket, there is even an FA Cup game on the BBC tonight so how about some uninterrupted viewing without someone trying to flog you something every 10 minutes.
If none of the above entices you to tell Hillary to take over now, how about proper gun laws where the only guns you will see will be worn by the military guarding installations, that has to be a bit more tempting for your retirement than Florida. We also have no dangerous animals so no chance that a bear will eat you although you may get chased by a grumpy badger.
Of course, we do have Piers Morgan on TV here and it rains most of the time but it is a small price to pay so give the Clinton's a call and tell them you are staying here and if anybody wants you to call the Fleet and Firkin as you will be there with the teenagers watching the Everton game and seeing how many Kinder Eggs you can fit in your mouth at one time.